it’s the little things

It truly is the little things in life. it’s in the simple things when God brings true peace into your heart. for such a long time I felt that God NEEDED to move in this huge miraculous way in order for me to feel Him. I was looking for an audible voice. I was looking for an image. I was looking for God to just hit me over the head with something big. I began to develop a thinking process that went along the lines of, “well if God spoke to this person this way, then does He not care about me enough to do the same?” This is definitely the wrong way to think and you will find yourself feeling unwanted….but that’s not true. you are wanted. Something I believe very strongly is that God meets us right where we are; He speaks to us in ways that only our heart knows how to understand. God gives me peace through little things. lately I have been struggling with that lie of being unwanted and i’ve been struggling with the fear of the unknown. but today, as I was sitting out by the pool taking in all the sun, listening to worship music, I was filled with this peace. I did one of my devotionals and of course, it was over fear. and then I prayed, and I knew He was listening. So my advice to you is just take in the moment. whether you are outside taking in the sun, or inside sitting in a dark room. just listen. listen to your heart. listen to your surroundings. pray if you feel the need to pray. dance if you feel the need to dance. sing if you feel the need to sing. live in the little moments, because those little moments will have the biggest impact on your heart.

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Unexplained Silence

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God. For I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

perhaps… the silence isn’t a bad thing. Perhaps it is a good thing. Our minds are so quick to align silence with Gods anger or His disappointment. We suspect that He has let go of our hand and turned His face away from us. Perhaps the silence is a tactic to deepen that desire, that longing for MORE of God. To notice the silence and the stillness is good, because it shows that your soul is still searching– still thirsty for the Living Water.

After all, He is a God who never moves away, but only desires to call us deeper and deeper into His never-ending– eternal, unconditional, freely given, reckless– love. Be still and know that He is God.

fellowship(:

{ 1 Corinthians 1:9- God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord}

I think it is just so cool and so beautiful that we are called into a fellowship with Jesus. The term “fellowship” means “friendly association”. I got to thinking about my friendships with other people. You have the friend you have known all your life, the friend that you can go months without talking  and then pick up right where you left off, you have the friends you go to school with and the list goes on…

However there is one thing that all friendships have in common; in a friendship, its not always that great. There will be fights, there will be tears. Its natural. But with a best friend, you aren’t really afraid to be brutally honest with them or to tell them how you’ve been feeling, whether that be distant or lonely, maybe even angry. I think we can all pinpoint a time when we have felt like this with another friend.

When we join this fellowship with Christ, it doesn’t mean that everything is gonna be “rainbows and sunshine” all the time. In Matthew 11:31 Jesus didn’t say that our burdens go away, He says that in Him our burdens are light. In Christ, we find truth and maybe its not the truth you always wanna hear. This is what we call “brutal honesty”. I believe that sometimes its really hard to be “brutally honest” with Christ (even though He already knew what we were feeling before we ever did). We think that “Oh God could not love me because I did this” or “Jesus didn’t die for THIS part of me”, but here is the thing… He does love you even though you did that thing and He DID die for THAT part of you. He died for the part of you that you are so embarrassed to talk about. He died for the part of you that may have forgotten to brush your teeth one morning. He died for the good parts AND the bad parts. He said “yeah, I want every part of that one, because my child down there is gonna change the world one day”.

Sometimes I think we begin to believe the lie of the enemy that “God doesn’t want me”. We feel distant with God because the weight of our sin is “too much for Jesus to ever carry or to forgive”. But did you catch what I said? “the lie of the enemy”. The brutal truth is this: There is nothing we could ever do to lose or add to His love, its freely given. Even when we feel distant from God and haven’t felt His presence with us, He wants us to come out to Him and say “God I don’t feel you. God I don’t know where you are at”. If you feel unwanted or that your sin is too big of a burden then I have something to tell you. You are wanted. Your sin is not bigger than Gods love for you. Psalms 139 says that He knows what you are gonna say, think, and do before YOU even know. It says that there is not a place you can go where His right hand cannot reach you. It says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and have already been put into His book. I think that so often we walk around with our hands closed and our head down, too afraid to open them and receive what God WANTS to give you. We think that we have to earn the free gift that Christ has given us, but we don’t. All we have to do is receive it and believe that it is ours. Romans 5:22 says that “where sin increases, grace abounds all the more”. When we choose to be in fellowship with Christ, we become a part of ONE body. Your life is your testimony. The day you say “yes” is the day Jesus says “finally”. You cant earn it, we don’t deserve it, but this grace has been given anyway.

Today, I challenge you to take the time out of your day, find a quiet place, get on your knees and open your hands, and be brutally honest with God. I say get on your knees, because this is the most powerful position. Its an act of surrender. I say open your hands, because when you keep them closed you cant receive anything. Join this fellowship.

Yellow nail polish!!!

Today I was taking my nail polish off, and it literally took me 40 minutes to get it all the way off. Last time I painted them (still yellow of course 🙂 ), I actually just painted a new coat over the old one, which looked horrible might I add. But as I was taking my nail polish off and I noticed how long it was taking me, God kind of revealed this truth to me; that when we are in the process of just trying to follow Jesus, your problems and those flaws that you might have don’t instantly go away. It takes time.

in Ezekiel 36:26, God says I will remove your heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh and I will give you a new Spirit. Galations 2:20 says that it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who is everything perfect and good and lovely who lives within me.

God is at work in your heart at this very moment. Whatever emotion you are feeling, whether it be sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration, God is already working on it. I really did not expect my nail polish to take 40 minutes to get off, but that’s when God said: “Kaylee, I’m not done with you yet”. Isaiah 43 says that when you pass through waters, He will be with you. When you go through rivers, you will not be overwhelmed. When you walk through fires, you will not be burned. Jesus is saying, “I am your way when there seems to be no way out, I will set you free” and this is something that I’ve come to learn. I’m flawed, but Jesus is perfect. I make mistakes, but God is working within me and mending all the broken and messy pieces. But this takes time.

So in the same way it took me so much time to just take my nail polish off, it takes time to heal and to be made new in Christ. I am still in the process and am just now coming to the realization that it is God who has the power to change my heart, not me. Keep praying, keeping filling yourself up with Gods truth and be patient. I wrote this today, because sometimes life gets so messy and sometimes it feels like you are just at a loss cause and that you can’t get back up, but this was a reminder that God doesn’t see you as messy, He sees you as work in progress.

Devos 3// He hears

Genesis 21, when God protects Hagar and Ishmael.

Backstory:

Ishmael is Abrahams son, and Hagar is Ishmaels mother and the servant to Sarah, Abrahams wife. Ishmael has a half brother named Isaac, who is the son of Sarah and Abraham. Abraham and Sarah hosted a feast for Isaac, but Sarah did not want Ishmael and Hagar there. Abraham was “displeased” but God said to let them go and Abraham gave them water and bread and sent them on their way.

• • •

On their journey, they ran out of water and Ishmael was dying.

Genesis 21:15-16 “When the water in the skin was gone, she put the child under one of the bushes. Then she went and sat down opposite of him a good way off, about the distance of a bowshot for she said, ‘Let me not look on the death of the child’ and she lifted up her voice and wept.”

Hagar was in such a tough place, especially as a mom. She had just got kicked out of her home, I can’t imagine how exhausted she was, and her son was dying of dehydration. she didn’t know what to do at this point and she began to cry out to God.

God responded to her in verse 18 and He says, “what troubles you, Hagar? Fear not for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is. Up! Lift up the boy, and hold him fast with your hand, for I will make him into a great nation” Verse 19 says that God opened her eyes and a well of water was there.

•••

God was there. Just when she thought all hope was lost, that she was going to lose her beloved son, God met her right where she was and said “nope this is not the plan I have for you or your son” , He said I will make him into a great nation!! The name Ishmael means “God hears”.

God hears you when you cry out to Him. Immanuel is with you, always.

•••

Genesis 21:20 says “and God was with the boy, and he grew up. He lived in the wilderness and became an expert with the bow. “

Idk if you noticed earlier, but in verse 16, Ishmael and his mom were a the distance of a bowshot away. But in the end he became an expert with the bow and God was with him! He conquered that distance that was between him and the place that God was calling him to be.

I just wanted to tell you today, that whatever is in the distance you feel like is holding you back from whatever God is calling you to – maybe it’s your emotions, Satan telling you that all hope is lost and that you should just give up-whatever that “distance” is, God is going to make you an expert at it . With Him, you will be given the strength to walk through all the twists and turns of that distance and conquer it!

Or maybe you are having to make a tough decision, like when Abraham had to decide if he should let them stay or make them go. Sometimes when we think of “Gods plan” we don’t really think of Him removing something from our lives, we think of something new being brought in. But…doesn’t God have to remove you from somewhere or just remove something from your life in order to bring a new blessing, or in order for you to start that new chapter? Decisions are scary, the road is long and hard, but God holds promises that He always fulfills. Do not lean on your own understanding but in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths {proverbs 3:5-6} God wouldn’t have told Abraham to let them go if it was going to harm Ishmael and Hagar, and He is not going to call you into something that is going to harm you! But that doesn’t mean that the road won’t be rocky up ahead, it does mean that you have a mighty and powerful God to guide you and take care of you though.

Devos 2~Be bold and rest~

So, I just got done reading Genesis chapter 15, and this chapter is about the covenant that God made with Abram. From this chapter I’ve felt like God was telling me to just rest and know that He is God and He always fulfills His promises.

The  first thing that God said to Abram after he won the battle against the kings and saved Lot was , “Fear not, for I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” And all Abram wanted was one child, but his wife couldn’t have children, but God said “Look toward the heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them than so shall your offspring be.” and Abram trusted God, but of course, doubt and darkness seeps in and Abram says “well how will I know that I will possess this?” and God goes on to tell him that it’s not gonna be easy, in fact “your descendants will be enslaved for 400 years, but I will bring judgement on those who enslave them, and they shall be the ones who own great things, and as far as you, well you will  go to your fathers in peace, and be buried at an old age. ” And Abram worshiped God.

throughout all of this, God was with him. God was there when he led Abram to his city, He was there in Egypt when Abram lied, He was there when He guided Abram back to His path, He was there when he defeated 5 other armies to save Lot, and He is trying to tell Abram that “I will be here to bring you your nation and I will be with them when they are being enslaved and I will save them and bring them here and they will rule.”

God is such a present help. He loves you so so much.

Psalms 139:7-10 “Where shall I go from your Spirit? Where shall I flee from your Presence? If  I ascend to heaven you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there shall your hand lead me, and your right hand shall hold me”

He is with you wherever you go, and not only that but He is a God of Abundance! When Abram said all he wanted was one child God said, “No, you will father a whole nation, you wont even be able to count your offspring!” When we come before God for something, sometimes He gives us more than we could ever ask for and all you have to do is trust that God is God and that He will fulfill your promises.

I love the last part of this, because God tells Abram that he will live in peace and be buried at a good age. He tells Abram to rest. Sometimes, and I’m speaking for myself here, we spend way too much time worrying about what God has in store. We spend so much time worrying that we forget to trust. But God is saying to you right now “Be still, and know that I am God!” Psalms 46:10a. Stand boldly on the promises of God, and rest in His peace which surpasses all understanding.

So I pray that this week you can find comfort in knowing that even though you don’t know the future, you have  a God that mapped it out perfectly. This walk was never said to be easy. James 1:2 says, “account it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds.” We were never promised easy but we were promised a very present help through it all. Rest in Gods presence.

xoxo

 

 

 

 

Devos 1// The Calling of the Lord

Genesis 12:1-2 “Now the Lord said to Abram, ‘Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.'”

God tells Abram to leave his home, to leave a place where he was comfortable in. He said “I want you to leave your home land, because I have something better to show you. I have a whole nation to give you.” In verse four it says that Abram went as the Lord had told him. I cant even imagine what Abram was feeling at that moment, the Bible doesn’t tell us whether he was at least a little bit scared or not, but I can imagine that he was. But he trusted God.

We are all called by God to do something great. Sometimes that calling will be way out of our comfort zone. But God said to Abram, “I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.” God says, “trust me and I will bless you.” To do Gods will, we have to leave things behind, in Abrams case it was his homeland, in our case it may be anxiety or fear, maybe even a relationship or even a place. Whatever it is that is keeping you from doing Gods will. By doing His will, rather than our own, you will receive a great promise from God. I cant tell you what that promise is but I can tell you how to find it. Serve. I heard this when I was listening to a sermon by Steven Furtick. You find it by serving, by seeking Gods Word and choosing to do His will rather than your own.

Psalms 57:2 “I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose in me”

It is not you who fulfills your purpose in you, it is God Most High, the one who holds all authority, who fulfills His purpose in you.

With all of this being said, I pray that you find your promise, because you do have a purpose. I pray that fear does not take ahold of you and hold you captive, because Jesus already smashed the head of Satan with His mighty and righteous heal so you wouldn’t have to be afraid. I pray that you know that since God is for you, there is nothing or nobody that can stand against you and that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by the hands of your Father. In all of this I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.

I love you!!

XOXO